Post by Midland on Feb 19, 2019 21:16:23 GMT
Hi All
Some news, succumbed to Dave's offer and bought his lovely bits. Worked on the pipe connections today having attached the body to the chassis for the first time. But as I mutilated some harmless copper pipe my mind wandered. Must admit Bach Toccatas on the CD so it might be his fault.
I imagined what might be the conversation at the medical centre.
Opening scene, Dr Cardo holding his clinic, come in Mr Midland, it appears you have had a heart attack, not uncommon these days given Brexit and Jeremy winning the election and declaring a republic and Dianne Abbot now the Queen but we are medical and do not judge. I feel that we need to change your life style. What is your main hobby now?
Mr Midland says watching TV, drinking beer, looking at porn and putting bacon into the shopping buckets of those ladies wearing sheets over their heads. Aha says Dr Cardo, I am going to refer you to Samantha our therapy advisor who will guide your new hobby choice. Samantha eh wowie!!!
Hello, my name is Samantha, I am the UK kick boxing and dirty wrestling champion, interested in sport??? No Ma’am thank you. S says, I have examined your profile and I think you should try ‘Model Engineering’ a stress free and rewarding and creative hobby. Yes ma’am!!!!
So, Mr Midland goes forth, is equipped by a well-known spender of other people’s cash and equips Mr Midland with every tool ever needed. And what do I do with this he says? Try one of the local suppliers and they will advise, so Mr Midland goes forth and asks if he could have a nice simple model engineering project, say a ‘wheel’ to make, easier than a square! Our supplier says I have just the thing, you have a choice between an Aspinal 0-6-0 good engine or a nice little fully detailed Flying Scotsman or perhaps a channel tunnelling machine! OK I will go for the little engine.
Fast forward, four heart attacks later, we are back in Dr Cardo’s clinic. Enjoying you new pastime, I see you have not been arrested for, well aha, let’s not mention that, how is the model engineering going? EEFFFing awful. I have a read a map that goes nowhere, I had to buy some junk called castings. You know what you do with castings? You cut most of it off and bin it, then you cut too much off and bin the whole ruddy lot. Then there is this talk show called a forum, they are supposed to tell you what to do with castings but they go on about DRO things, mm’s, coincidental offset compensating split bearings, expansion link dimensions and god knows what crap. And they are all secret agents. Give you a sample, ‘Greenglade’, you can tell what he does, ‘92220’ bit of a mystery, ‘Johnthepump’, must run a sewage works, ‘nobbysideways’ no comment, ‘terrier060’ a big dog, ‘vulcanbomber’ yes but noisy, ‘simplyloco’ do not jest ‘loco’ needs treatment, and to top it off it is infiltrated by the bloody French, ‘delaplume’ de ma tante!!!! Cannot comment on a ‘Roger’ have not a clue what he is on about, seems to be a robot!! So, Dr Cardo, nice try, I would prefer hearts attacks than being sectioned and sent to a loonybin.
Dr Cardo took a deep breath and paused, his entire career in shatters. Mr Midland came to the rescue.
Don’t worry Dr Cardo, I have a new hobby, well a part time job, I am the new Guillotine operator for France. They are so busy with Junkers and Barniers and the rest that they needed someone with my new talents. After all I have learnt that ‘parting off’ is model engineers challenge, not for me, just pull the lever, bomff! Swarf, never have any and it is taken away anyway. Finding a centre, we have a special locating device, neck in slot, bomff. Need a four jaw chuck, just chuck for more in, bomff! And one does not to apply BA10 nuts to an invisible little screw with dirty sticky fingers just as, ’suppers ready’, or in English, move your arse! Questions??
I have a Chateau with my gorgeous Chatelaine and unlimited Cotes du Rhone, Camembert*, well you know the rest. Brandy and coffee on waking, Chablis with the fish for lunch and then on we go. ‘Ilvaporista’ do drop by, bring some mozzarella and Sicilian!. We have lots of Pont L’Eveque too!
Delaplume you will come to wait at table and all the rest of you are welcome, just stick to the codes!!!!
At that point I burnt my finger on some hot copper pipe, by the way where did all this crap come from?
Cheers David
PS Pics tomorrow
Some news, succumbed to Dave's offer and bought his lovely bits. Worked on the pipe connections today having attached the body to the chassis for the first time. But as I mutilated some harmless copper pipe my mind wandered. Must admit Bach Toccatas on the CD so it might be his fault.
I imagined what might be the conversation at the medical centre.
Opening scene, Dr Cardo holding his clinic, come in Mr Midland, it appears you have had a heart attack, not uncommon these days given Brexit and Jeremy winning the election and declaring a republic and Dianne Abbot now the Queen but we are medical and do not judge. I feel that we need to change your life style. What is your main hobby now?
Mr Midland says watching TV, drinking beer, looking at porn and putting bacon into the shopping buckets of those ladies wearing sheets over their heads. Aha says Dr Cardo, I am going to refer you to Samantha our therapy advisor who will guide your new hobby choice. Samantha eh wowie!!!
Hello, my name is Samantha, I am the UK kick boxing and dirty wrestling champion, interested in sport??? No Ma’am thank you. S says, I have examined your profile and I think you should try ‘Model Engineering’ a stress free and rewarding and creative hobby. Yes ma’am!!!!
So, Mr Midland goes forth, is equipped by a well-known spender of other people’s cash and equips Mr Midland with every tool ever needed. And what do I do with this he says? Try one of the local suppliers and they will advise, so Mr Midland goes forth and asks if he could have a nice simple model engineering project, say a ‘wheel’ to make, easier than a square! Our supplier says I have just the thing, you have a choice between an Aspinal 0-6-0 good engine or a nice little fully detailed Flying Scotsman or perhaps a channel tunnelling machine! OK I will go for the little engine.
Fast forward, four heart attacks later, we are back in Dr Cardo’s clinic. Enjoying you new pastime, I see you have not been arrested for, well aha, let’s not mention that, how is the model engineering going? EEFFFing awful. I have a read a map that goes nowhere, I had to buy some junk called castings. You know what you do with castings? You cut most of it off and bin it, then you cut too much off and bin the whole ruddy lot. Then there is this talk show called a forum, they are supposed to tell you what to do with castings but they go on about DRO things, mm’s, coincidental offset compensating split bearings, expansion link dimensions and god knows what crap. And they are all secret agents. Give you a sample, ‘Greenglade’, you can tell what he does, ‘92220’ bit of a mystery, ‘Johnthepump’, must run a sewage works, ‘nobbysideways’ no comment, ‘terrier060’ a big dog, ‘vulcanbomber’ yes but noisy, ‘simplyloco’ do not jest ‘loco’ needs treatment, and to top it off it is infiltrated by the bloody French, ‘delaplume’ de ma tante!!!! Cannot comment on a ‘Roger’ have not a clue what he is on about, seems to be a robot!! So, Dr Cardo, nice try, I would prefer hearts attacks than being sectioned and sent to a loonybin.
Dr Cardo took a deep breath and paused, his entire career in shatters. Mr Midland came to the rescue.
Don’t worry Dr Cardo, I have a new hobby, well a part time job, I am the new Guillotine operator for France. They are so busy with Junkers and Barniers and the rest that they needed someone with my new talents. After all I have learnt that ‘parting off’ is model engineers challenge, not for me, just pull the lever, bomff! Swarf, never have any and it is taken away anyway. Finding a centre, we have a special locating device, neck in slot, bomff. Need a four jaw chuck, just chuck for more in, bomff! And one does not to apply BA10 nuts to an invisible little screw with dirty sticky fingers just as, ’suppers ready’, or in English, move your arse! Questions??
I have a Chateau with my gorgeous Chatelaine and unlimited Cotes du Rhone, Camembert*, well you know the rest. Brandy and coffee on waking, Chablis with the fish for lunch and then on we go. ‘Ilvaporista’ do drop by, bring some mozzarella and Sicilian!. We have lots of Pont L’Eveque too!
Delaplume you will come to wait at table and all the rest of you are welcome, just stick to the codes!!!!
At that point I burnt my finger on some hot copper pipe, by the way where did all this crap come from?
Cheers David
PS Pics tomorrow